Off the top, seriously, don’t even waste your time.  Going into this movie I had heard all of the negative reviews and that it was awful but being a fan of TMNT since I was a kid I just had to take a chance.  I kind of pride myself being able to find something positive in every film.  Maybe the script is a disaster but it’s shot well or maybe the actors are bad but the tone of the film is well communicated.  So here’s the sliver lining for this movie: You only have to waste 101 minutes of your life.

This is an action film where the action sequences are so chaotic it actually hurt my brain.  A plot that at one point when a backstory is being explained I actually slapped my head in amazement and it has Megan Fox, who can not, I repeat can not act.  There is a fine line between goofy fun and just awful and while TMNT possibly tried to go for the goofy aspect it takes itself so seriously and tries to be a franchise action hit and it’s just not.  Had anyone involved in this film even tried to understand what the turtles represented then maybe they would’ve had a shot.  The previous films and even how these heroes were conceived was completely tongue in cheek.  It’s ridiculous, it’s goofy, it’s unbelievable and that’s the point!  These are mutated turtles who learned ninja skills from a rat…yup.  The minute you take this concept seriously you’re done and here in lies the problem.  Going for a more gritty take on the characters and the story just completely flies in the face of everything they stand for and is a complete failure.

A Michael Bay produced film is always going to go big, which this one does with almost hilarious repercussions and then there’s the product placement which is just appalling.  If you have kids or want to be a little nostalgic just go back and watch the original films.  They’re incredibly fun and ridiculous and you’ll have a blast, the second one has the turtles crash into a rap concert and sing with Vanilla Ice, yes, it’s awesome.  Stay the hell away from this one though, unless you want to waste 101 minutes of your life, your choice.

Recommend? In case you didn’t get it from the review, hell no.